Do I dare to love again?
by The Undead of FF
Summary: Alice comes to Forks High to forget. Jasper came to find. Will she give into him, or will she be kept forever at bay? Canon pairings, mainly A/J but with mentions of all other couples. Quite a bit of B/E. AH.
1. Freedom

_**Alice comes to Forks High to forget. Jasper came to find. Will she give into him, or will she be kept forever at bay? Canon pairings, mainly A/J but with mentions of all other couples. AH. **_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Obviously. **

**So this is my very first Alice/Jasper fic! Everyone read, enjoy and leave me a comment! **

**Most importantly, I would like to find a beta reader for this story. If you would like to, please leave a review or PM me! It would be much appreciated! **

* * *

_**Alice's POV **_

Cynthia heaved two large suitcases into the back of her car. I watched on, hopping anxiously from foot to foot. The sun was just awakening, stretching its weary limbs and casting a mild glow.

"Get into the car." She hissed. I cast one more look behind me, onto the house, in which I had lived for so many years. The only world I had ever known, save what I could see from the window and school. For how long had I yearned to step outside the heavy oak doors, to experience the feel of the raw sunlight on my bare skin without having to worry about being dragged inside again? And now that my wish had been granted, I was almost afraid to leave.

"For goodness sake Alice! Get in the car! Or I will leave you here!" Cynthia all but growled, as she started the engine. I knew it was now or never. As though their were shackles on my feet that bound me to the house, I pulled my way to the car, slamming the door shut. That did it. My last connection to this place was gone.

I was free.

With expert steering, we pulled out of the driveway and drove onto the dirt road. The house had been isolated from any other buildings, with only forest all around. Cynthia revved up the engine, speeding forward, whilst I just thanked my lucky stars and whoever sent her to me.

"We should be able to make it to Forks by eight. Just in time for school!" She added brightly, just like a mother. My real mother was probably dead, or as good as. Never knew her, never want to. And as for dad…? The same applied.

I nodded, flexing my muscles. It was a new beginning! I no longer had to hide, had to cower. For the first time in three or so years, I could truly be the Alice I wanted to be. No alterations. ME.

Cynthia nodded approvingly, as though she could read my mind. Her sleek brown hair fell in long locks just past her shoulders, long fingers clutching the wheel. Her eyes were black, but warm and laughing.

"What?" She asked, feeling my eyes on her.

"You've got nice hair." I said simply.

"Thanks?" She raised an eyebrow slightly. I smiled at her bewildered expression.

Now the scenery was replaced by a neverending streak of green. Cynthia's porshe whisked gently past, until a collection of grey buildings caught my attention.

"Forks High." Cynthia announced, stepping out of the car, her high heels clicking on the concrete. I followed her with confidence, but not without checking my face in the mirror first.

Smooth black hair, no embarassing smudges…then I quickly swept down my body, checking the clothes. My long black top, skinny jeans and converse's had all been Cynthia's present, for which I couldn't thank her enough. She knew me well, including my love for fashion.

Forks High was inconspicuous and small, exactly what I wanted. No, needed. We walked into the secretary's office, where an old woman, with large round glasses and a sweet smile on her face sat at the desk, tapping on computer keys.

"Hello." She said cheerily.

"Hello." Cynthia replied. "This is Alice Brandon." She guestured to me. "A new student, enrolling as a junior."

"Ah, yes." She tapped briskly at the keys. The printer by her side chugged out a few pieces of paper. "Here is your schedule for this semester." She handed me the papers. "I hope you enjoy your time at Forks High!" She smiled.

"I will." I thanked her, and I marched back outside.

"Cynthia, I…" A lump caught in my throat.

She pulled me close for a warm hug. I inhaled as much as I could of her scent, knowing I wouldn't smell it again for a long time. "Alice, take care."

"Thank you for everything. For breaking me out of that hellhole. For setting me free." I whispered.  
"It was worth it, little cousin." She replied.

She was more than a cousin. She had been like a sister. I'm sure if she hadn't been so close, I would have been envious. She had everything; the money, the job, the pain free life…everything I dreamt of having.

"I'll repay you. I promise." I said.

"Your happiness is enough for me." She said. Then she released me, hands still on my shoulders. "So, you know where you're living right?"

I nodded. "With a Carlisle and Esme Cullen."

She pulled me in for a hug again. "Have fun, and enjoy your new life."

"I will."

"Will I see you again anytime soon?" She asked softly.

We both knew the answer. "I don't think so, Cyn." It would be too dangerous. Besides, she had her life to live in Seattle, and I wanted to start over. With no more interference from the past. Also, we couldn't afford to have _him_ knowing what had happened.

"I love you, Alice."  
"Love you too, Cyn."

"When you're ready, call me. I'll always be there for you." She said.

It was all I could do from keep the tears in. "Alright."

"Take care." She said one last time, and let me go. "Go!"

I turned slowly, and without looking back, headed to my first class.

Classes were easier than I would have thought them to be. English was my first class, and I didn't have to look hard for a seat. The boys seemed specially attentive today, as they all patted empty chairs next to them invitingly, ignoring the outraged looks of their girlfriends or what-not's. I grimaced a little, reading their eyes. From the past, I had learnt that the saying 'The eyes are the window to the soul' was not just a bit of poetic license but was true. They were all innocent enough, so I sat next to a blonde haired boy, who promptly introduced himself as Mike Newton.

"Alice Brandon." I said, my smile bright but reserved. I was always cautious around boys. It was a habit I had picked up.

"A pleasure." He purred.  
Thankfully, the teacher entered the class room, cutting conversation short.

After a rather over-excited gym lesson with Coach Clapp, and a painfully slow Maths, it was time for lunch.

Social status was all determined in the cafeteria. I could see the groups clearly, all clustering by their own tables. I hung onto my newly found confidence like a lifesaver, as I stood by the wall, accessing each group.

The most challenging part of every new student's school life: The first lunch.

And I wouldn't give up. The worst was behind me.

* * *

**My first chapter done! How was it guys? Please leave a review, but no flames. They just make people feel horrible, and I hate flamers. **

**It was probably a bit boring, but please hang with me! It'll get better. **

**The more reviews, the sooner I'll post the next chapter! I usually update on a weekly basis, but I have no idea how school is going to torture me, so if you're eager to read on, reviews are always good!**

**Lots of love,**

**JJ**


	2. New roommates

**WHOO!!!!! OBAMA'S OFFICIALLY PRESIDENT OF AMERICA!!! **

**I've updated early to celebrate this special occasion. And of course, for my amazing reviewers. **

**YAY!! OBAMA FOREVER!!! **

**Still looking for a beta reader guys! Anyone? **

**Enjoy the second chapter! **

* * *

I clutched my tray, and walked slowly around, scrutinising the separate groups. There were the computer whizzes, talking in code, exchanging shortcuts and what nots, jocks that guffawed at crass jokes and slapped girls asses, a table at which Mike Newton was sitting. He waved to me, indicating for me to sit down, but the girl with curly hair next to him threw me daggers so I thought better of it. I was considering marching up to the nearest table, until someone tripped over my feet, dropping her purse.

"Are you ok?" I asked, hauling her up to her feet. She was flushed red, but seemed to regain her composure very quickly. With fumbling hands, she brushed away her brown hair, revealing a pair of shy brown eyes.

"I'm fine." She said. "Thanks."

"That's alright." I replied. I bent down to hand her back her purse, which flooded her face red again.

"Alice Brandon." I said, taking a plunge. She started, but then smiled and told me her name.

"I'm Bella Swan. Well, Isabella really but I like to be called Bella."

"Were you going anywhere?"  
"I was going to get some lunch, before…" She guestured briefly at the floor.

"You can share mine." I said, holding up my tray.

Her face lit up. "Really? I mean, you don't have to, and I'll pay for it, but-"

"Shush you." I said firmly but with a grin on my face. "Now tell me where I can plunk down this thing."

She led me to a table in the middle, where I saw four other's sitting, three boys and one girl. They were all casually dressed, but something made them stand out from the rest of the school. Was it the way people cast them glances, but none dared to approach? Most people veered around them, giving them a wide berth. I felt a thrill as Bella pulled me closer.

"Who's feet did you trip over this time?" A burly boy chortled, his curls shaking with his laughter.

Bella blushed. "This is Alice Brandon guys."

"Hey Alice." Chorused the table. I sat down next to Bella.

"You must be our new roommate." A pair of green eyes winked at me.

I blinked, before catching his hand. "You know Carlisle and Esme Cullen?"

"I'm their only son. Edward's the name."

"Emmett McCarty, my good friend." The burly boy leant over and clapped me on the back, almost causing coke to spew out of my nose.

"Rosalie Hale." The blonde haired girl said casually, as though she was simply announcing the time.

"Jasper Whitlock." The name came so quietly, yet deeply that I couldn't help but hear it. I stared at the blonde haired boy that happened to sit next to me, but so still I hadn't actually realised.

"We all live with Carlisle and Esme." Emmett said. "Except for Bella over here."

"So you guys are my roommates, huh?" I smiled.

"Well, you get a room to yourself, but you'll have to put up with us next door, yeah!" Emmett wiggled his eyebrows in a comical fashion.

"We'll show you around after school." Edward said assuringly. "You'll love it."

"Specially when there's me around!" Emmett boomed.

"Keep the fun alive." Edward said dryly, landing a super kick on Emmett's shin.

"So Bella, how come you don't live with them?" I asked.

"Because she's weird." Emmett hissed.

"Shush!" I gave him a harder kick on the same shin. This time he bowled over in pain, rubbing the bruise that was now surely appearing.

"So?" I prompted.

"Well, I live with Charlie, my dad. My mum's in Florida. They're divorced." She said casually, stabbing a slice of tomato and forking it into her mouth.

"I see." I didn't prod any further, but started eating my salad roll.

"Is anyone up for a party tonight?" Emmett asked, wrapping an arm around Rosalie. I didn't realise they were 'a pair'. It seemed strange, but right at the same time.

"Celebrating what?" Jasper asked. His voice was low but smooth. It was the first time he had spoken since he had said his name.

"Our new roommate of course!" Emmett held Rosalie even tighter.

"Can't keep it in, can you?" Rosalie smiled. It made her face more beautiful than ever, as she pecked Emmett on the cheek.

"You'll have to ask Carlisle and Esme." Edward sighed, running a hand through his hair. "But I'm game."

"You know Carlisle and Esme will agree. And besides, that way we'll be able to show Alice the reins!" Emmett slapped the table.

* * *

Lunch passed quickly, as I learnt quite a bit about my new found friends. Emmett was all together happy-go-lucky, and in love with Rosalie. Rosalie was cool, calm and beautiful, seemingly stuck up but actually rather nice on the inside. Jasper was a mystery to me. He rarely spoke, but his eyes seemed so much older than his body. I found myself drawn to this statue of a boy. He too was available, but despite his good looks, girls just admired him from a distance. Edward was the heart throb of the entire school, and still available I had heard. This caused me to giggle, but although I liked him, I would never date him. I didn't know why. In fact, I don't think I'll ever date. Die an old maid, that'll be me. The thought induced a sigh, which Bella caught.

"Alice, what's wrong?" We were sitting in chemistry class, where the teacher was droning on about some subject I couldn't possibly have cared less about.  
"Oh, just…bored." I finished lamely, unable to think of an excuse.

"Ok." She said doubtfully, but didn't press the matter. I was beginning to really like Bella. She was shy, but sweet and naive.

"Do you have a car?" Edward asked after school, jogging up to me just as I was walking out of the building to the carpark. Several girls next to me gasped audibly, and I could feel their vibes of jealousy rolling off their skin. "If you don't, we'll give you a lift."

I saw Rosalie, Bella, Emmett and Jasper all hanging around a shiny new volvo. It was the best looking car in the entire lot. It was nice, but a little too conservative for my taste. My dream car would be something flashy, a red ferrari, perhaps?  
"I don't have…" As my eyes swept across the carpark, I spotted a familiar yellow Porsche. _Cynthia!_ I ran towards it, heart thudding audibly. My heart dropped when I saw it was empty. There was no Cynthia, but it was her car. After a bit of blind searching, I caught sight of a small black envelope that was discreetly wedged inside the windscreen wipers. Tearing it open, I found a note from Cynthia.

_Dear Alice. _

_This is my last gift to you. It should come in handy, as the Cullen's house is a fair bit away from school. The bills are all paid for, so just enjoy it. I don't want you to repay me, I just want you to be happy. The keys you will find in the very bottom of your backpack. I love you so much and I look forward to the day I see you again. _

_Good luck in the future,_

_I love you so much_

_Cynthia. _

That did it. Tears pricked my eyes, as I pressed the note to my heart. Digging through my backpack, I found the small brown package I had previously overlooked. The keys now dangled in my fingers, shiny and promising.

"So you do have a car." Edward commented. He walked forward, surveying the Porsche from all angles. "It's a very good car, sleek, smooth…" He muttered. He was obviously avoiding the letter in my hand, asking no questions. I appreciated that.

"Best of all, a touch of love." I whispered.

"So, you can follow us there. See you later!" Edward waved and ran to the Volvo, and slung himself into the driver's seat. I sat inside the dark Porsche with its tinted windows, smiling as the familiar purr of the engine sounded. Pulling out, I sniggered at the jealous faces of my fellow students, and followed the Volvo through Forks, until we pulled into a large driveway, facing a large, victorian mansion. Reverently, I stepped out.

"Welcome home."

* * *

**I liked the idea of the Porsche having a nice little past of its own. I think it was a nice touch. And the partying will happen soon! The story's very gradual, and the action comes a little later!  
Liked it? Leave a review and tell the author so! They're very much appreciated! Reviews also mean early updates! Also, if you want any specific requests as to what you want to happen, don't hesitate to PM me or state so in a review. I love all ideas, no matter how dramatic! Just nothing ridiculous or degrading, please. Unless it's Emmett, LOL. That's always appreciated. **

**Lots of love,**

**JJ**


	3. Video games or Beauty products?

**I am SO SORRY for the late update guys, but I will tell you now that because of school (sigh) I will only be updating once or twice a month, more if you're lucky and if there are enough reviews. That's the way the world goes round. I don't want to bring home any more B's or C's, so sorry guys!!!!! I love you all heaps and PLEASE don't give up on me because I do try!**

**Lots and lots and lots and LOTS of love,**

**JJ**

**

* * *

**

Carlisle was a respectful man with youthful features, even in his thirties. His welcoming smile was sincere, as was the hand he received me with.

"Welcome to my humble home." He said, gesturing to the magnificent building behind him.

"H-Humble?" I stuttered, eyeing the two storey mansion with disbelief. I heard Edward's quiet chuckle behind me.

"Alice!" Esme flitted down the steps, ignoring my hand that was being held out. Forget the formal introductions; Esme swept me into a soft hug. She reminded me so much of Cynthia, I suddenly had the urge to cry. Fighting tears once again, I pushed the feeling into my gut as Carlisle and Edward hauled my two suitcases out of the trunk of my car without being asked. They leapt up the steps with my baggage without any apparent difficulty, waltzing through the heavy oak doors. I followed them through with Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper behind me.

The inside of the mansion was every bit as lovely as the outside, if not more elaborate. Light streamed through the large arc windows, bouncing off the silverware stacked delicately in a large wooden cabinet, the glittering chandelier from which hung droplets of pure crystal, creating rainbows on the wood floor. Faded family portraits hung in gold frames on the wall, but also photos of more recent times. Of these I was about to take a closer look, but Carlisle and Edward had already climbed the marble staircase and was waiting for me. With fluid steps, I jumped nimbly up.

"This is your room." Esme opened a white door and revealed to me an absolutely amazing and large room. It was modern, compared to the outside interior, with red plush sofa's and hanging lamps. Light filtered through the glass doors leading to a balcony. I walke din, the soft carpet caressing the bare soles of my feet. The bathroom was quite spacious, a large mirror opposite the bathtub reflected bottles and bottles of various beauty products perched on the table. A low padded chair was even provided for me to sit on.

"Should have gotten a higher one. Doubt she'll even be able to see herself." Emmett snickered.

I shot him a glare, ad he immediately hid behind Rosalie, protecting his shins.

_Was I allowed to use all this?_ I wondered, considering the cost.

Esme read my mind. "Please, help yourself to whatever you want. If you ever run out, I'll replace it immediately. Complimentary service of the Cullen household." She smiled, the dimples in her cheeks making her entire face even more angelic and beautiful.

At that point, everyone had wisely filed out, giving me some private time alone. I sat warily down on the bed, feeling and admiring the softness. Ten, my next priority was to sort out my clothes, which I hung up in the huge walk-in closet. Despite my two large suitcases, there was ample room left for future purposes. Idly, I wondered if the boys rooms were the same. Or maybe theirs was stacked with video games instead of beauty products?

A knock interrupted my meaningless ponder.

"Coming!" I shouted. Opening the door, I almost bumped into Jasper. "Oh!" I exclaimed. Craning my neck, I looked up into his face. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him 'Do you guys have video games instead of beauty products?' But bit it back.

"Esme sent me to see if there was anything you required." He said smoothly in a formal tone.

_Why would Esme send him?_ I wondered.  
"Everything's wonderful." I smiled, twirling on the spot.

He grinned, although it was still somewhat reserved. "She'll be glad to hear that."

"Should I be down by now?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Dinner will be in about thirty minutes. We're having it early because of Emmett's little party." He chuckled.  
"Ok." I replied. "I'll be down by then."

Without another word, he turned and jogged lightly down the stairs.

I sighed, and flopped back onto the bed. Now seemed a good time to change. But a shower came first. The hot water was wonderful, soothing and unknoting my muscles. I was wearing a soft bathrobe, rummaging through my clothes, when I found a yellow off-shouldered top and a denim skirt. These I pulled on, and after running a comb through my hair, I found that it was time to go down.

Skipping lightly, I found Edward at the stove.

"Beef noodles?" He asked.

"I'm good with it." I replied. The tangy, exotic smell caused my stomach to grumble.

"Here are the bowls you asked for-oof!" Bella walked towards Edward, just managing to trip up over her own bare feet. Luckily, I was close, as I caught her before anything could be harmed. I saved the bowls too.

"You should be more careful next time." I reprimanded.

"I know, but I'm just horribly unco-ordinated." She confessed, cautiously placing the bowls on the marble topped table.

Edward sighed. "I shouldn't have made you get them."

She blushed, stumbling over her words just like she stumbled on her feet. "N-no, i-it's f-f-fine!" Her face was a beetroot red.

It was a sudden change, even for someone who blushed as much as Bella. However, no more could be said, as Emmett charged down the stairs with Rosalie who was a little flustered. She was blushing more than usal (I could swear all the girls I knew were turning into tomatoes before my eyes) and her eyes darted wildly from left to right, as if dodging some danger.

"Had fun?" Edward asked quietly with a hint of amusement.

"Great. When's the food coming?" Emmett replied casually.  
"Right about now." Edward placed bowls of the steaming asian dish in front of us. There was still plenty in the pan, and I wondered where it all went.

"Where's Carlisle and Esme?" I asked, swallowing my first forkful.

"They're out tonight. Carlisle's working late, and Esme usually goes with him, to see the children." He replied.

"I see."

Silence ensued, apart from the occasional clanging of cutlery. At last, I saw where the food went; right down Emmett's gut. He was handing down the noodles like one pours sand into a bucket; mouthful after mouthful.

Dinner finished with a surprisingly traditional apple pie and ice cream, whilst Edward poured steaming mint tea for those who cared for it.

"You are one damn good cook." I said, wrapping my hands around the tea cup.

"Thank you." He smiled. We no longer sat at the dining table, but now we all lounged in front of the TV.

"Are we ready to have some fun?" Emmett boomed enthusiastically, after half an hour of staring blindly at the screen watching some boring TV show.

"Fun?" Bella asked a little timidly.

"Don't worry, it's nothing you haven't been through." Edward patted her arm comfortingly.

"It's a tradition. Everytime we get a new roommate, we celebrate in their room, do fun stuff and generally stay up til I fall asleep." Emmett announced proudly.

"I'm game." I said.

"Awesome." He flashed his white pearl-like teeth. "This will be one party you'll never forget, Brandon."

It would be the first party I ever went to, for as long as I can remember. This information I didn't offer out, but smiled and challenged him with my eyes.

"Bring it on, brother."

**Like I said, so sorry! But next chapter will be in Jasper's POV, if it isn't, then sue me. Kidding. But tell me and I'll do double for it! **

**Love y'all,**

**JJ**


End file.
